Bummed, Grateful and Regret

Sat/Sun 29/30 Sep 07


No, BG&R is not the name of some new band.

I’m bummed out. Since starting my blog I have enjoyed the time I sit in front of the screen letting random thoughts flow. And although I have not gotten into a daily habit, I was getting there at least in spirit “thinking” about what I might post. So, I had great hopes for this weekend. Alas, it was not to be. I came with Cathy to the annual UDC Convention (UDC = United Daughters of the Confederacy) and had great plans to do nothing but think and generate random thoughts to share. But, the hotel doesn’t have wireless internet, or any internet for that matter. So I am bummed. At the same time, however, it’s a great opportunity to think random thoughts and cobble them together in Word so I can cut-and-paste them into the blog when I get home.

Why, you might ask, are you BG&R? Let me tell you.

To start, we are on the Mississippi Gulf Coast….a place that is far from normal (and some would say that’s the case even in ‘normal’ times). But as a place that is two-years removed from Hurricane Katrina, it is far far far from normal. So, I suppose I was being optimistic about the hotel having wireless internet. From what I see driving around there are some that do, but given the still evident state of devastation even two-years on, my random thought is that we (the royal we) should be grateful for what we have. As you drive around and see FEMA trailer after FEMA trailer you are grateful not to be there. As you drive around and see one foundation after another where a house used to stand you are grateful. As you look for places to eat and realize that there aren’t many you are grateful. I haven’t seen a Starbucks (which I rarely if ever go to….another topic for later) but in this case I might have just to get wireless access. Anyway, the topic of gratefulness has been on my mind since we arrived yesterday evening.

As I sit here in a third floor hotel room looking out across the Gulf it is awe inspiring to think of the force involved to move all that water from out there to in here. We took a tour around the grounds of Beauvoir (last home of Pres. Jefferson Davis) and when you realize that the piers underneath the house are around eight feet tall and the water got in the house two feet deep you stop and think. But then when you add in the fact that the land is several feet higher than the road out front, which is then several more feet higher than the beach…..are you getting the picture yet? I’ve been through three hurricanes on the Gulf and after Camile I was old enough for the memories to really sink in. I mean, Betsy was a terror but I was only eight years old and while I do have six particularly vivid memories of that one, I remember more after Camile -- driving over from New Orleans and seeing the destruction, ships moved up on land (BIG ships), houses picked up from their foundations and set on top of levees, and on and on. As a kid that makes an impression. I went through another hurricane when we lived in Virginia…as an adult I had an entirely different perspective…was the roof going to stay on the house, did I have enough insurance, what about the survival kit. Today, standing in the parking lot looking out across the water, then looking behind me to Beauvoir, I suppose it really began to sink in. To think that the water rose that much all up and down the Gulf Coast, actually higher as you went west – about another 7 ft. I think he said -- washing in, agitating around, and then literally sucking the life of the coast right out into the Gulf with it when it left….well, you are grateful again.

We started the convention at First United Methodist Church, corner of 15th Street and 24th avenue. What a beautiful church and how wonderful that it came away relatively unscathed, particularly given the beautiful stained-glass windows and dome. Grateful again! After breakfast in the fellowship hall and morning business meetings (which I skipped & let Cathy deal with), we moved to The Great Southern Club, 15th floor of the Hancock Bank Building. Now that was a beautiful place, obviously new since Katrina, and while overlooking the Gulf my feelings of being bummed out about the internet and being grateful for what I have gave way to feelings of regret.

Regret? Yep, regret. Right there on the plate next to the Red Snapper, between the steamed vegetables and potatoes…a big serving of regret that I ate slowly as the meal and program progressed.

Regret – For not being a better person and getting down here to help in the recovery.
Regret – For not giving more financially to support those who were better than me and did.
Regret – For not doing more to maintain and uplift our Southern history and heritage.

Anyway, it was a ‘nice’ weekend since any time you can get away from work is nice. But it was challenging as well. Perhaps that’s a good thing….perhaps that song that I’m hearing by Bummed, Grateful and Regret will become one of my favorites.